Defining Self-Esteem...

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

-Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

'Self-esteem' is one of those terms we use so often without really knowing what it means... try defining it right now without thinking about it- not so easy, eh?

As an educator, I passionately believe kids need to possess self-esteem if they are to accept and conquer the learning challenge successfully, but I can't support my belief if I'm unable to define what self-esteem is. Not unlike irony or respect, self-esteem is something we know when we see it, but find it hard to wrap words around. We have to do this if we're to effectively promote it. 

So many programs, therapeutic models, school curriculum and other people themselves claim to be able to increase our self-esteem. This is one of the big lies... self-esteem must come from self. If it could be derived from any other person or program it would have to be referred to as something other than self-esteem. How then do we contextualize the concept of self-esteem in order to support its presence in our students?

For me, the answer is rather simple, (although it's taken me a long time to formulate it- ironically, the simple things often really are the most complex.) Self esteem is grown in two ways, and both must be evident or it doesn't grow at all.

First, a person must become good at something, (understanding that 'good' is a relative term.)

Second, and most importantly, a person must have an opportunity to share what they're good at with others.

For me, it's that simple. As an educator, my primary role is to focus on children's strengths by holding up a metaphoric alternate mirror that reflects a positive image back at every child I encounter. The next step is to seek any and all ways for that child to share this positive image with others. We need kids to say to themselves,

"I'm good at this, and I'm going to show everyone I know!"

No matter where on the spectrum of development each child is, saying these words to themselves empowers them to be confident and capable at every incremental step along the learning journey.

Self-esteem must come from self, but receiving positive messages and reflections from others will never hinder the process- that's for sure.

Kids From At-Risk Environments

It's been a while since I started blogging, and today another person asked me why I call my blog 'KARE Givers' ... I thought I should explain the origin of this acronym (no, it's not a misspelling.)

Before my one-year counseling career last year and first administrative appointment this year, I spent fourteen years teaching and learning with some most worthy, but very damaged children. The literature said these kids were "at-risk", but I never accepted that. To say the kids I taught back then were at-risk seemed to unfairly place the responsibility for being that way on them, and I didn't agree this should be the case. After some years of deep thought on the issue, I developed a perspective that these kids were not at-risk, as the literature suggested, but that they came from at-risk environments, a slight, but critical distinction... hence the acronym KARE- Kids from At-Risk Environments.

As our epiphany evolved through our working experiences and our research, my colleagues and I began to focus on student strengths as opposed to their weaknesses, and before long our optimist's lens allowed us to see what we believed... that under their tough outer shells of defensiveness, anxiety and angst, these kids were worthy, competent and caring young people who just happened to arrive at our door dealing with a litany of emotional and behavioral problems, and each case was totally different with the exception of one element... to a student, they all arrived from a place that did not serve their needs effectively; an at-risk environment. In every single case there was an environmental dynamic in the child's life outside of school that prevented positive development... they truly had bigger fish to fry, so to speak, than anything school could throw at them.

  

We read like fiends everything we could get our hands on that would provide any insight into what we and our students were dealing with. In Reclaiming Lost Youth- Our Hope for the Future, (what would become our bible in the early days,) Dr. Martin Brokenleg, Larry Brendtro and Steven Van Bockern introduced the concept of reclaiming kids. The authors describe the reclaiming environment as "one that creates changes that meet the needs of the young person and the society. To reclaim is to recover and redeem, to restore to value something that has been devalued." Many refer to this sort of plan as a "win-win" situation, and undoubtedly it can be when focused in the right direction. The authors indicate that reclaiming environments feature:

1. Experiencing belonging in a supportive community, rather than being lost in a depersonalized bureaucracy.
2. Meeting one's need for mastery, rather than enduring inflexible systems designed for the convenience of adults.
3. Involving youth in determining their own future, while recognizing society's need to control harmful behavior.
4. Expecting youth to be caregivers, not just helpless recipients overly dependent on the care of adults.

We worked hard to construct teaching and learning environments that displayed these characteristics, and our efforts payed off in spades. Like so many things that seem too simple to be true, adhering to these four principles created focus on the right, restorative and logical elements of what our students needed from us, and the reclaiming culture we needed to facilitate. We realized over time that it's all about perspective... we needed to see what we believed.

In more recent years I have had the opportunity and pleasure to share tales of my experiences with other teaching and learning professionals as a workshop facilitator and lecturer. During these presentations it is inevitable, (and I've done dozens of them,) that one of the audience members will state rather matter- of- factly to me that the kids in her school don't need to be reclaimed because they don't have the sort of severe problems that I describe as part of the session. Let's remember, it's all about perspective...

At this point I pull up my picture of a dandelion, and often share this poem...

Lucien's Birthday Poem

Yes, a dandelion

because they are the flower

of wishes. You blow that ball

of seeds and the wind carries them to the one

assigned to grant or reject.

And it's a good thing

that it's the dandelions

who have this power

because they are tough

and sometimes you have to be tough

to even remember

that you have any desires left at all,

to believe that even one

could be satisfied, would not turn

to an example of

"be careful what you wish for,

it might come true."

Maybe that's exactly why

there are so many of them -

the universe gives us extra chances

to keep dreaming.

Each one an uprising,

a burst of color

in the cracks of our hearts,

sunrise

at an unexpected time,

in an unexpected place.

Ellie Schoenfeld

After this, we talk about perspective. To a young child, dandelions are flowers. To the vast majority of adults, they are weeds. It's all about perspective...

Now that I've been away for some time from the alternative teaching and learning environments that changed my life, I find that I can't identify anymore what an at-risk environment is. As a counselor, (and every teacher wears that hat whether they like it or not,) and a teacher in what we refer to as a mainstream educational environment, I have come to believe that if any child feels anxiety, fear, isolation or any other debilitating emotional state as a result of the environment they endure, they come from an at-risk environment- it doesn't matter if we think their feelings are justified... if it's real to them, it's real. In this sense, every child is potentially a KARE kid- a kid from an at-risk environment.

There's only one way to begin to associate with the often unknown environmental factors affecting the children we work with every day in school; learn their story. Not until then can we truly be present for the kids we serve- not as a teacher charged with teaching, but more importantly, not as a person who genuinely cares; a KARE Giver.

Great "stuff" doesn't make a great teacher...

After reading Andrew Churches' wiki post regarding the characteristics of 21st Century teachers, and while still thinking about a tweet I posted a while back, I want to share some evolving thoughts on effective teaching in today's complex educational world.

In my Twitter #edchat conversation a while back I said that "many new teachers think success comes from 'stuff'- resources, programs etc. Success will ONLY come from them and sound personal philosophy." Hey, let's face it... many teachers, new and old alike, are feeling a bit like Inspector Gadget lately; we are being pulled (the pessimists among us may say 'pushed') in many different directions as time marches on in education, and in the broader society we reflect. So how do we navigate these turbulent waters?

Relax. There are no emergencies in education. This personal maxim has served me well for a long time since adopting it from a former principal I had the privilege of learning from. True, there are a number of roles teachers need to play in order to keep up with the evolving disposition of the new-age learner, but rather than rue this challenge, why not accept it with excitement and enjoy the ride?

I agree with Andrew's above vision of the 21st Century Educator. Although today's teacher is most definitely all of these things, I believe contemporary teachers need to consider themselves primarily as collaborators within the learning process... a stark removal from traditional teaching perspectives where the teacher was first and foremost a provider of information. We are (need to be) much more than that for the brilliant young people evolution has provided us the good fortune to work with.

Teaching is about relationships... great teaching is absolutely not about the "stuff" (those resources, technologies, programs, textbooks etc.) that many associate as representing a good educational environment. Next fall as thousands of new North American teachers scramble to find the latest and greatest classroom tools to make their first year of teaching manageable and successful, let's reflect seriously on the fact that positive and effective educational environments aren't about teaching tools; they're about relationships... people working with people to establish the trust and commitment necessary in any successful relationship. Teaching and learning is a collaborative effort that we should be making together with students as opposed to a deliberate attempt by the teacher to contol, dictate and disseminate information.

We're hearing much about authentic learning lately, and we all know what Mr. Bloom would say about some of the transactional practise evident in today's classrooms... why can't we lighten up a bit and enjoy the ride as much as we would like our students to? I believe that when we make positive and authentic connections with students first, that the control many teachers crave will happen authentically and automatically. In the wise words of Nel Noddings, "it is obvious that children will work harder and do things — even odd things like adding fractions — for people they love and trust."

Let's stop worrying and concerning ourselves so much about the tools of our trade, and return to the roots of our craft. Let's tap into our higher order thinking skills and start working on regaining the creativity and optimism that comes from ideas, understanding that ideas can come from anywhere, including our students. Let's collaborate on the learning process by adopting an attitude of inquiry and discovery and getting on with Fourth Way ideologies of the future.

Let's relax and have fun doing what we have the privilege to do...

I believe there are no emergencies in education...

I believe that there are no emergencies in education; in nearly every challenge we need only to realize that the past can show us the way to the future.

I am re-posting this article as the second installment of my beliefs about leadership and education. Thanks for reading.

Teachers, parents, students, society... there are no emergencies in education.

I first saw this video about a year ago, and have used it in virtually every presentation I've done since to parents and teachers both. Having been fascinated by the concept of scale my entire life, (and like most, having felt insignificant so many times,) this speech by Carl Sagan is the starkest reminder that we are truly blessed just to be here leave alone the opportunity to interact as human beings in a "mode of dust suspended on a sunbeam."

We are privileged beyond belief to be here on this earth. Humankind is a bizarre and wonderful gift when viewed from the perspective of Carl Sagan... when thought about, our existence in the cosmic reality is seemingly implausible. However, we are here, and this fact makes it so hard to realize why it appears to be our human tendency to exacerbate problems and issues to the point where our experience being here is not enjoyable. When we reduce ourselves to over-complicating issues, especially those that can't be explained, we cannot simply be here, in the present, gracious for our gift of existence.

Sagan's message carries massive implications for teachers. Notwithstanding the obvious physical emergencies that simply come with all aspects of life (injury, threat, risk etc.), within our daily grind when even the most trivial challenges become emergencies, how often can we say we are truly in the 'here and now' for our students, modeling the virtues of wonderment, curiosity, awareness... mindfulness? We get so wrapped up in the externally applied pressures of what we do that we lose our connection with our students; the only reason teachers exist.

Yes, teachers have pressures: we have deadlines; a responsibility to be accountable; the requirement to be well-planned and challenging behavior to deal with (from our students and colleagues)... our job requires  substantial skill-levels in organization, efficiency and decisiveness... doing it would be impossible otherwise. All this is not a burden though, it's a privilege.

Teachers, we have a challenging job, but in every challenge lies opportunity, and I would argue our teaching opportunity provides us with what I consider to be the most impacting and resonant responsibility this pale blue dot has to offer- the responsibility to teach.

We exist within a cosmic irony. Our very existence on earth is unexplainable, our origin unknown... we are a faith-based entity... we have to believe we are here for a reason. To believe otherwise would result in a very lonely, purposeless existence. So in this vast, unexplainable and overwhelming universe wherein our existence is completely insignificant, alas teachers are here and we have something significant to do. We are the ones responsible for helping all of us make sense of our ironic existence, our role in the world, our purpose... to find significance.

Every student is worth our full attention, and it is our primary responsibility to divine their individual strengths so they can be shared with the world. At the same time, we must bring the world to each individual student... help them realize how truly massive it is and what can be learned by being part of it all.

There is no person alive that should miss the opportunity to be significant.

Competition doesn't have to be a four letter word...

flickr CC image via stockicide

Competition isn't inherently bad. Whether a competitive learning environment is perceived as positive or negative depends entirely on the context within which we define competition.

When it comes to competition, once again, educators are polarizing an issue unnecessarily. It's a black and white issue for us- either we endorse competitive learning environments as positive teaching and learning, or we denounce them as a negative influence. I think it's when we impose a norm-referenced competitive learning environment on kids in school that it becomes potentially negative and perhaps debilitating.

There has to be a middle ground.

Are we not competitive by nature? Just watch a group of kids playing sometime... inevitably, and without provocation, they will engage in some sort of competition... seeing how long they can hold there breath under water, seeing how high they can climb on the monkey bars or just having a friendly running race... kids like competition when it's designed by them. Why not nurture this tendency in school? Perhaps we need to let kids be the authors of their own learning to a degree. Perhaps this is the middle ground we should target.

Let's use a standards-based learning (SBL) environment as our positive example. In as SBL environment, every student is judged against a set of learning standards that are consistent and measurable. When these standards are differentiated into levels of achievement, they also allow for a considerable amount of assessment flexibility. SBL environments permit us to get away from variations of a Gaussian Curve analysis of any particular group of students- arguably an unfair and statistically-biased form of summative assessment, and instead focus on the individual achievement of each student. In this context, each student is competing against his own prior levels of achievement, working to improve his knowledge and skill-set... taking on the responsibility for directing his own learning. In my mind there's nothing wrong with this form of competition.

Education, like golf, is ultimately an individually driven effort... to be successful at golf we need only to worry about our own score... to be successful at learning we need only to be concerned with our own progress.